Quaterly update up to end May 06

Quaterly update up to end May 06.

Appologies for the lateness again…Waynees fault….Sorry!!

Firstly a massive congratulations to C & J on the announcement of their pregnancy….I always thought someone had it in for you Chris.(I’ve forewarded the E-mail to santa)

It is now impossible to think of any reason whatsoever to not come home…A collective “Get your arses back so we can all be God parents!!”

Things that have happened since Feb;

Oscar has been born..as you already know.

Lisa has been on holiday to Tenerife with her parents(Obviously…Who else could pay for her now she is only earning £30k per annum)

She tried to pull unsuspecting Spanish 18 year old waiters but was unsuccessful,(apparently they were put off only by her chain smoking )

She also had a very dodgy incident at 1.30 am as she was driving away from the Oak, under the influence and her car stopped, not to be restarted whilst stuck out in the middle of the road. She should know better.

Lisa also went to watch horse show jumping(On her own) as part of her year of alternative activities.

We went to Clowne Community centre to watch a blues/rock band for Ben’s birthday.(only 4 of us. Showing Ben is gaining in popularity…Lisa paid me to go!!!)

He is still raking in the cash for his being on call at work, and even had to leave badminton to go and help at work on 1 occasion (He was most put out)

Cath is working up to 6 days per week at the garden centre but is still denying that she has sufficient funds to contribute to any household bills!!!! However the child care aspect of costs is apparently astronomical.

We all went Bowling and on to “Rising sun” in Chesterfield for Cath & Jo’s birthday, for an all you can eat Chinese meal.

Waynee & Ben were outstanding at bowling and Gaz faired better at the Chinese. (47 of us went on this excursion 1175% more than Ben’s)

Mason has quit his job with Granville and his foreign friends blaming stress, long hours, poor unKodak like working practices ,fresh quiche ingredients and an inability to cope with missing Saturday night at the pub as the only causes. Nothing what so ever to do with being a work shy bastard!

Mason is the sole entrant (Out of 80 doing it) in the LSW out of our gang, as even simon is now not coming. This is however ensuring the single largest weekly set of donation pledges in the lsw history…Please forward at least £20 sterling asap (Plus what you owe from last year, plus 5.25% interest.)

Mason has had myself and a few builder mates rip his kitchen out and now refitted a new one…plus new paths, patios, steps, doors, glass,…………..tiling, flooring (which they have already bolloxed)

A recent fire involving Gary’s next doors caravan, 2 fire engines, gas bottles and my garage guttering, caused some excitement, the neighbours were only alerted to the fire by waynees frantic knocking-saving their car from the fire (Hero status now deservingly bestowed). The fire was right against gary’s recently completed garage burning/melting guttering facias etc…….FUCK.

Claire has written and delivered a quiz at the jackups…..they were the lowest marks ever recorded as no one knew anything about “The twenty most important things when trying to produce the perfect lawn”

Claire bought some darts (As we now play some daft game where you have to score certain things to get points and half your score if you miss) with spinny flights, and the first night she brought them out there was an obnoxious New Zealand bloke with two birds who thrust himself into playing with us.

C&J’s previous neighbours have moved (Norma & Whatsit) into a council bungalow, selling their house to Steve Brunt and Lisa!!!

Gaz & grog Have been to Sofia on Dunk’s Stag doo….much the same as Gaz’s but with paint balling, and even more strippers and lapdancing.

Rachel and Adam are pregnant again…due in October

Charlotte is also pregnant…due in July.

Grog has passed his car test (Christ!!) He is now the proud owner of a Volvo.

That’s about it for now

Tat Tar

Gaz & waynee